Chris Oliver

Posted on December 01, 2006.

So, what makes a ‘pro’ for you?

Someone who looks comfortable and happy on board and can tear on any terrain effortlessly with plenty of creativity.

It’s funny - For a guy who confesses that he can’t put down a board, you always seem to switch off as soon as conversation heads towards skateboarding - or at least towards anything other than going skating right now.

Yeah I’ve never really had a high concern for who rides for who and who’s doing what, I just go skating in my own little bubble.

Do you reckon that has helped you along the way then?

Yeah in some ways, plus there’s a lot to remember if you’re into politics of skating, and I’ve got about as much memory as a ZX81.

Ha - Let’s get on to some random questions.

A solo session at your dream spot or a session with mates at an average spot?

Slades Farm with Wayne Kelly and Ginger James

Was Slades Farm where you found your knack for getting covered in dirt after skating for less than three seconds?

Yeah I never did really care about how clean I was. I was having too much fun, skating’s a dirty sport.

I think people are just amazed at your uncanny ability for finding dirt in the cleanest of situations.

It finds me..

Which trick eludes you?

Switch Tre, I’d say…Bloody fashion tricks.

Can you talk to a stranger without mumbling?

- Well, when you’ve been faithful to Jah for a while you start speaking in tongues. Jah understands everything.

I’m guessing that skateboarding helped stop you becoming a serious retard, especially given the borstal stuff you mentioned?

I wouldn’t say serious retard, maybe, maybe some sort of pikey peasant. It could have been a very opposite episode if it weren’t for skating.

What is the most ‘ghetto’ situation you have found yourself in?

Probably the other day: you don’t want to know though, seriously...

Sound like it could be pretty gnarly - You are up as a witness in a murder right now, aren’t you?

Oh yeah, the Aussie incident. Well basically me, Josh Roullion, Will Stoyles and your good self were driving back from a skate when we saw a guy dressed as a Samurai swordsman. Anyway this guy started hacking up the lamppost for no reason, obviously a meth-head. We stopped on the side of the road to check it out, as you do. Soon after, the feds roll up, gun out the window pointed straight at him. The Shogun then decides to start hackin’ up the Police car, absolutely mental behavior, so obviously the cop shots him dead then and there, and as we were the only witnesses who bothered to stop to watch, we were all dragged in for witness statements. We didn’t hear back for over a year, and then a random email shows up from the Melbourne police just the other day saying that we were needed in for court in a few months in Melbourne. The actual words he used were amazing. “I’M AFRAID we’re gonna have to pay for you to come to Oz and stand up in court, sorry for any disruption.” Ha, in their summer, too. Yeah, right. Bummer…

Benny wants to ask for a good story of you pissing someone off in your youth?

All water under the bridge now, but this one time I was pissed up at a skate after party somewhere, when apparently I was obnoxious to Ian Passmore, a good mate of Craig Smedley’s, which was soon followed through with a fist clenched slap by Craig. I totally deserved it. That was a definite wake up call to realise I’m a rude bastard. It did me good in the long run I reckon; is it weird to say ‘thanks’ for a smack? (Laughing)…

The brutal honest truth always seems to slip out of your mouth before you can stop it.

I reckon that is us just about done. Who’ve you got to thank?

Well, in current times I’d say cheers to Pete King for putting me up. I know I’m a handful, but see it as a handful of joy, ha. Everyone at Blind, Billabong, Vans and Shiner. St. Albans massive, SB Army, Glastofarouts, Brissszoo Massive, all the Ozzy heroes, RollingLikeKingz, Bridport Brigade. Can’t forget Da Meatrack. Everyone who has helped me along the way. You know who you are...peace